After just celebrating the day I was born, I thought it might be fun to come up with a life list. Some people call it a bucket list. So here it goes in no particular order– a list of forty things I want to accomplish in my lifetime.
- Visit each continent
- See the pyramids
- Dance in the rain
- Meet my great-grand kids
- Fall in love
- Have at least one “forever” relationship with a person
- Be owner of a successful business
- Swim with the dolphins (Ok maybe just get in the water with one)
- Own a home
- Have a best-seller
- Hug Dwayne Johnson
- Witness everyone having equal rights
- See a female president of the U.S. in office
- Have a wedding
- Meet Alanis Morissette
- Be a dress size 8
- Learn how to swim
- Speak more than two languages
- Learn to play a musical instrument
- Write a song
- Drive on Germany’s autobahn network
- Have a romantic kiss at the top of the Eiffel Tower
- See all of the United States
- Have a gelato in Italy
- Go to the ballet and Opera
- Befriend someone famous
- Get a degree
- Ride in a helicopter
- Have a paintball war
- Ride a mechanical bull
- Beat my stage fright
- Be a YouTube sensation for a week
- Heal my butterfly phobia
- Own a 1970′s Stingray Corvette
- Be influential
- Make a difference
- Create a charitable organization
- See the cures for many diseases
- Witness a collective evolution of man
- Get a kiss from Alicia Keys
What’s on your list?
It’s been so very long since I’ve updated this blog. I was out there living out my 40th year on this Earth. It was the most amazing year of my life. I embraced turning 40. I looked forward to it and mapped out how my year was going to unfold. I did so many wonderful things from taking an extravagant vacation to Miami to attending an Alanis Morissette concert with my best girl, my daughter. I was generous with myself, which was long overdue. I took more vacations in that year than I ever have. I kept up with the weeding out of people and things that weren’t supportive to my growth and well-being.
As I began putting this milestone behind me and welcoming 41, another epiphany struck, just as it did as I neared 40. Last year at this time I realized that I really needed to treat myself as well as I treated others. As another birthday approached something else became clear. It actually expanded upon the lesson from the previous year. Which is, that I really need to put myself above all others. That’s right, even if it means family and friends. Damn waiting around for scraps to fall from the dinner table. I’m totally seating myself at the head of that table. Though my kids will always be number one in my heart, they are in their adulthood now and it’s time for them to spread their own wings. They are the only people on this planet who will never lose a place in my heart. But now it’s okay for mom to be selfish.
I came across this quote the other day and it resonated with me.
“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent.
Caring for myself is an act of survival”–Audre Lorde
This is absolutely vital to me right now. At this point in my life there’s nobody who’s going to look after me better than I will. No one will be invested in my life and dreams when there’s nothing in it for them. It’s not the way I’ve lived my life all these years but I have accepted that fact. I’ve had countless conversations about this recently and I can’t even get angry about it anymore. It is what it is. In a world where people have this “I’m getting mine, fuck anybody else” mentality, you have to step up and be your own advocate and cheerleader.
I’ve been taught through experience that giving the slightest bit more to others takes away from me evolving to where I need to be. I don’t mean that you should turn a blind eye to others. It just means that they get the leftovers when I’m done giving to myself first. It’s like the safety instructions on an airplane, you must first administer the oxygen to yourself before trying to help anyone else. I lived, learned, and loved my way to 40 and now I’m 41.
So today I turn 40. I am so happy to arrive at this milestone. Some people dread it. I celebrate it. The way I see it, I’ve earned it. I’ve been through good and bad times. I’ve learned a lot yet have so much more to learn. This excites me. I feel like there’s a shift coming. In my 20′s I was already a mother. I had an idea of who I wanted to be, but wasn’t quite sure if I was there yet. I knew I had to figure it out quickly because I was already in charge of two little lives. Of course I would have wanted to have my kids a few years later than I did but there is not one regret. Not a single one. My kids have given me a joy that will never be duplicated. They kept me going when I thought I had nothing left to give. At times I feel like I owe them my life.
In my 30′s I unfortunately learned that, just when I thought I had been hurt and things were bad, it could always get…worse. I suffered such deep heartbreak at the hands of someone I loved dearly. Not only did I suffer that pain, I suffered the pain of losing friendships and some family ties. I learned what it felt like to be abandoned by people I cared for. For reasons that till this day elude me. Just simply deserted me. No explanation. I questioned it at first, but then it became a fact of life so I learned to do without. I closed my heart. I never lost my smile but disappointment had turned me into an empty shell. I got familiar with the notion that a lot of people are full of shit. Again, my kids were the one bright spot. In my 30′s I sought ways to center myself. I began to gather wisdom and enlightenment. I slowly worked towards maintaining inner-peace. The hurt I experienced was beginning to fade towards the end of my 30′s. I had made new friends and was trying new things. I accomplished something tremendous. I set out to write a novel and I did. It was the beginning of great things to come. At 39 I began preparing to give my 30′s the send off they deserved.
I allowed myself to be generous with the one person I had neglected. Me! I took a trip that was long overdue. It felt so good to treat myself the way I had treated everyone else. What took me so long? My age. That’s what. Yes, I am learning. The last year of my 30′s I began to pull away from things and people who were not conducive to my growth. While I didn’t eliminate them completely I learned to put myself first. It also occurred to me to stop trying to like everyone. While it is nice to get along with people it is not mandatory to like everyone. Some people you will never get along with and that’s fine. Just being cordial is enough. The message I wish to convey most in this new decade of my life is, “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness.” Watch out, because today I turn 40.
It’s been forever since I last posted a blog entry here. It’s not that I haven’t had anything to blog about. I was just so preoccupied with a trip I was taking at the tail end of March. Not just any trip. A trip of lifetime. A trip that I’ve waited to take since I was ten years old. I allowed myself this luxury, being that I will be turning 40 in less than a month. So you can see how this trip was long overdue. I have another blog where I chronicled my journey. My journey took me to my very first WrestleMania! Yes, I did type the word “WrestleMania“
The WWE has captured my attention as I said, since I was ten years old. I stopped watching for a short time. Then when my children were younger I tuned in again. When I tuned back in, it was the end of my sanity. For I was introduced to the man who always makes me lose my cool. I’m talking about, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. If you do not know who I speak of then you must Google him right away! I seriously need to dedicate and entire post to that man. *Sigh* Well okay, I actually did on my other blog :-)
Anyhow, I have been basking in the afterglow of fulfilling one of my childhood dreams. The experience was unlike anything I’ve had the pleasure of indulging in. The theme of the trip was VIP. And it felt so good to experience a bit of decadence. I’m a single mother who has always put her children first. I have no regrets. Now that my children are entering adulthood, it’s time for me to give to myself. This trip was just the beginning.
I partied with the stars!
One of my favorite WWE stars, Randy "The Viper" Orton
I saw my favorite male celebrity in the flesh! I even managed to grab hold of his hand as he passed by.
Favorite male celebrity Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson
I went to my first WrestleMania!
WrestleMania 28! April 1 2012
Things I thought would remain only in my daydreams. After this experience, I will put more effort into making my dreams come true. At times, I would tell myself that my dreams were too far out of reach. Not anymore.
I wonder if people are hesitant to pick up Enchanted Island because they think that they wouldn’t relate? Yes, there is a Puerto Rican flag on the cover. Yes, the heart of the story takes place in Puerto Rico. Yes, 3 of the 4 main characters are, indeed, Puerto Rican. Yes, you will learn the history of Puerto Rico. What you will also get is an adventure. You will follow along as four young people come of age. You will fall in love with these youngsters and watch their transformation into young-adulthood. They go through the same situations as any one of you.
Not that I was surprised, but I had people, not of Puerto Rican heritage, tell me that they could so relate to the main character, Gabby. We each have issues and circumstances that we wish we could change. Really, at the core, we are more alike than not. We mostly all want the same things out of this thing called life. We’re all on this life journey together; sometimes facing horrendous situations that do not discriminate. No matter where you come from. No matter the language you speak or the color of your skin.
Some of us come from a warm loving family and some not so much. Everyone falls in love and we make and lose friends. We face obstacles and fight to overcome them. These are just some of the things that the characters in my book face. Will this persuade you to take a chance on Enchanted Island? I wonder…
This post is a long time coming. I can’t believe it actually took me this long to blog about American Horror Story! Easily my favorite show on television now. I feel like I’m cheating on House, Glee, Walking Dead and Modern Family. I love them all dearly. It’s just that I can’t stop gushing about AHS! Okay, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, it’s this new show on FX. It airs on Wednesday nights at 10pm and repeats right after at 11. How do I even begin to describe this show? It’s got some elements of horror, yes. But in my humble opinion it’s got a great story line. So it’s not gratuitous or cheesy scare tactics. It’s well thought out and keeps you on the edge of your seat waiting for the next episode. I’ve read some horrible reviews about it, and to each his own. But I just want to scream “HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE THIS SHOW?!” It’s intriguing, it’s sexy, its gory, outlandish, has superb acting, great characters, oh I could go on forever. Who doesn’t like a lunatic in a black latex suit? I mean, really? You love the characters, you hate them, you think you know them but you don’t. You swear you know what’s happening and BOOM you’re wrong. I don’t know if you can tell but I’m really excited about this show And what I love even more is watching it with my friends. We’ve got an unconventional way of watching “together” but it works for me. Through Tweets and Status updates I feel like my friends who are far away, are actually sitting right next to me. When my sister came to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with me, I made her watch it Wednesday night and she was hooked. She text me the next week to let me know she was watching and how much she dislikes me for turning her on to the show. I love American Horror Story!