Crowded Shoulder


I feel like my positive energy is being sucked dry by the negative energy of the people surrounding me. I look around and it seems like everybody is stuck in misery. What’s even worse, I’m really starting to believe some folks thrive in it. I have a feeling that these people can only function properly when they’re drowning in a sea of drama. The endless, I can’ts or I’m trying to’s , I’m lost, I’m lonely, I broke, I’m tortured, I hate where I live, I don’t want to even live on this planet,I hate my life, my life is like a song, my girlfriend sucks,my girlfriend doesn’t suck,I hate my job, my boyfriend doesn’t care, my boyfriend is annoying,I’m in a dark place,nobody understands me, you’re the best, you’re the worst, and the list could go on forever.  I try to be a source of positivity for these people and they turn around and ignore me, in favor of someone who wants to commiserate in their torturous existence. It’s like they only want to associate with people who will coddle and enable negative thoughts and behavior.

I do admit to loving social networking sites like Facebook, but I’m beginning to see how these misery lovers are getting their validation through replies on their status updates. It’s opened the door to a global gathering of whiners looking for sympathy. I realize that, some may think  I’m just as guilty by writing this blog. There’s a few reasons why I blog. For one, I come here to let off steam and blog about things going on in my life, for those who would like to get to know me, the writer. I try to keep it positive in most cases. It helps to get my thoughts and feelings out, perhaps giving me inspiration for a story. At least here, if  someone wants to read it, they can, it’s not like I’m going out of my way to say hey “look at me, I need attention.” No one is receiving a status update about my blog unless they’ve signed up to follow it. I haven’t forgotten that, I did make a choice to add people to my Facebook page. However, I just don’t subscribe to remaining in constant agony and making sure everyone knows it.

So, there may very well be, nobody reading this and that’s ok.  I’m getting ready to be in the public eye, with  the release of my first book. I figure sometimes people want to know a little about an author of a book they’ve enjoyed. Lastly, I  blog in the hopes of networking and getting some form of promotion for my work. I like to believe, I blog in a way that even if there’s something negative in my life, I can still see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

It’s not the case with the people surrounding me. It’s really getting to me, how people are just so self-centered. I don’t know if Tweeting and Facebook status updating, are the cause for all the “Look at me” people running rampant. I for one, am sick and tired of people, whether through Facebook or instant messaging, bombarding me with their troubles. They get sound advice , then ask me how I’m doing, as an afterthought. Sometimes I feel like people ask me how I’m doing just to get it out of the way, so they can continue with talking about themselves, with a clear conscious. I’ve been in conversations where, I announce something important going on in my life, and it gets passed over. I’ve also had people pop up on my instant messenger program, solely to rant to me about an issue,and log off as soon as I’ve helped them to feel better. I’m slowly losing patience and, as a result, will probably end up being less available. That’s not exactly who I am, so I’m hoping that this phase won’t last too long.

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