A quick teaser to my upcoming short story collection. Due out Halloween 2013
A quick teaser to my upcoming short story collection. Due out Halloween 2013
Whether you’re getting married, moving into a new place or about to have your first baby, you go to your favorite store and what do you do? You register, that’s what. You go through the store adding things on a list that you would love to have. It takes the guess-work out of what people should buy for you to mark the special occasion. Some love these gift registries and some dislike them. But there’s no denying the popularity of said service.
After you’ve selected everything your heart desires, people are more than happy (We’d like to think 🙂 ) to run out and purchase these things for you. Those near and dear to you hurry to grab those big-ticket items as if it’s some indication of their awesomeness. The satisfaction they derive from sitting at your bridal shower or house-warming party when you’re opening the gifts–hey, it’s just what you wanted!
Now imagine if you could do that for life, in general. No special occasion, just being able to put what you most desire on a list and people clamoring at the chance to oblige. How awesome would that be? I’m not suggesting here that others are responsible for providing you with things you should be attaining for yourself. This is just a whimsical little post so don’t shoot me down.
One of the things I’d put on my list would be, endless opportunities to travel. It’s probably my favorite thing to do. What would you put on your Life Gift Registry?
Yesterday I revealed the cover to my upcoming release titled, Kindred Spirits. It’s a short story collection. There’s bloody murder, family secrets, hauntings, insanity and more. I got so excited about the cover so I wanted to share it. Here it is designed by Hi-Rise Visions who did a fantastic job!
As part of my Enchanted Summer Games, I gave the participants a chance to do a guest post on either one of my blogs. I’m happy to post the first entry now. It comes from a woman who I interact with on Twitter. We connected because of a mutual admiration of, The Great One, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. She and her young daughter have been participating in my games daily. We’ve come to find out we have a hell of a lot of things in common. I’m enjoying getting to know her and her beautiful family. This is the reason I cooked up these games. It warms my heart when she tells me that competing in the games has brought her closer to her daughter through the friendly rivalry going on and time spent playing the games. The participants were told that they could write about any topic they wanted. Yet this woman chose to make her blog post about me! She suffers with a medical condition and is a mother of two! And she finds time to show support for little old me. That’s something I take note of and will never forget. Now on to her post.
When Did Support Die? by Christine
I joined Twitter ~3yrs. ago, all be it to follow Dwayne “Rock” Johnson, an to my surprise met quite a lot of people who took the same interest as me, not just “Rock” related ,but wrestling and reading. Through the years I have gained n lost a few followers, but “the best ones” Thank God have stayed around. I am ,with my daughter Bethany, playing a game hosted by a GR8 Follower..now better known Friend May Torres. She has written a book called Enchanted Island (which I am enjoying reading) an has come up with #EnchantedGames to allow her followers an friends to get to know her n each other better. It pisses me off with all the people on her list and mine that a handful play along. I ask WHY? ..The events are fun an the questions an tasks allow her to know you better and vice versa. It doesn’t take up all your time(as I am a Mom of 2 n go to rehab for my bone disease everyday).I am having a great time playing game n meeting new people but most of all learning MORE about May who I have been following for so long. I do understand that everyone’s life is busy, but 10 minutes of your day isn’t a lot to get to know more about your “friend” an give her support. Who knows one day you may need support an “word of mouth” to get your projects n dreams off the ground, yet your past actions might make it that much more TOUGHER. So I say Where is the support an not just pertaining to this but in life in general ?
After just celebrating the day I was born, I thought it might be fun to come up with a life list. Some people call it a bucket list. So here it goes in no particular order– a list of forty things I want to accomplish in my lifetime.
What’s on your list?
It’s been so very long since I’ve updated this blog. I was out there living out my 40th year on this Earth. It was the most amazing year of my life. I embraced turning 40. I looked forward to it and mapped out how my year was going to unfold. I did so many wonderful things from taking an extravagant vacation to Miami to attending an Alanis Morissette concert with my best girl, my daughter. I was generous with myself, which was long overdue. I took more vacations in that year than I ever have. I kept up with the weeding out of people and things that weren’t supportive to my growth and well-being.
As I began putting this milestone behind me and welcoming 41, another epiphany struck, just as it did as I neared 40. Last year at this time I realized that I really needed to treat myself as well as I treated others. As another birthday approached something else became clear. It actually expanded upon the lesson from the previous year. Which is, that I really need to put myself above all others. That’s right, even if it means family and friends. Damn waiting around for scraps to fall from the dinner table. I’m totally seating myself at the head of that table. Though my kids will always be number one in my heart, they are in their adulthood now and it’s time for them to spread their own wings. They are the only people on this planet who will never lose a place in my heart. But now it’s okay for mom to be selfish.
I came across this quote the other day and it resonated with me.
“I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self indulgent.
Caring for myself is an act of survival”–Audre Lorde
This is absolutely vital to me right now. At this point in my life there’s nobody who’s going to look after me better than I will. No one will be invested in my life and dreams when there’s nothing in it for them. It’s not the way I’ve lived my life all these years but I have accepted that fact. I’ve had countless conversations about this recently and I can’t even get angry about it anymore. It is what it is. In a world where people have this “I’m getting mine, fuck anybody else” mentality, you have to step up and be your own advocate and cheerleader.
I’ve been taught through experience that giving the slightest bit more to others takes away from me evolving to where I need to be. I don’t mean that you should turn a blind eye to others. It just means that they get the leftovers when I’m done giving to myself first. It’s like the safety instructions on an airplane, you must first administer the oxygen to yourself before trying to help anyone else. I lived, learned, and loved my way to 40 and now I’m 41.
So today I turn 40. I am so happy to arrive at this milestone. Some people dread it. I celebrate it. The way I see it, I’ve earned it. I’ve been through good and bad times. I’ve learned a lot yet have so much more to learn. This excites me. I feel like there’s a shift coming. In my 20’s I was already a mother. I had an idea of who I wanted to be, but wasn’t quite sure if I was there yet. I knew I had to figure it out quickly because I was already in charge of two little lives. Of course I would have wanted to have my kids a few years later than I did but there is not one regret. Not a single one. My kids have given me a joy that will never be duplicated. They kept me going when I thought I had nothing left to give. At times I feel like I owe them my life.
In my 30’s I unfortunately learned that, just when I thought I had been hurt and things were bad, it could always get…worse. I suffered such deep heartbreak at the hands of someone I loved dearly. Not only did I suffer that pain, I suffered the pain of losing friendships and some family ties. I learned what it felt like to be abandoned by people I cared for. For reasons that till this day elude me. Just simply deserted me. No explanation. I questioned it at first, but then it became a fact of life so I learned to do without. I closed my heart. I never lost my smile but disappointment had turned me into an empty shell. I got familiar with the notion that a lot of people are full of shit. Again, my kids were the one bright spot. In my 30’s I sought ways to center myself. I began to gather wisdom and enlightenment. I slowly worked towards maintaining inner-peace. The hurt I experienced was beginning to fade towards the end of my 30’s. I had made new friends and was trying new things. I accomplished something tremendous. I set out to write a novel and I did. It was the beginning of great things to come. At 39 I began preparing to give my 30’s the send off they deserved.
I allowed myself to be generous with the one person I had neglected. Me! I took a trip that was long overdue. It felt so good to treat myself the way I had treated everyone else. What took me so long? My age. That’s what. Yes, I am learning. The last year of my 30’s I began to pull away from things and people who were not conducive to my growth. While I didn’t eliminate them completely I learned to put myself first. It also occurred to me to stop trying to like everyone. While it is nice to get along with people it is not mandatory to like everyone. Some people you will never get along with and that’s fine. Just being cordial is enough. The message I wish to convey most in this new decade of my life is, “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness.” Watch out, because today I turn 40.