Cry Me a River


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Last night I watched Gladiator with my son who was watching for the first time. This is one of those movies that makes me cry EVERY single time I watch it. I figured, I’d be safe because I hadn’t seen it in a while. I thought, “No. It’s not going to get me!” Yes, yes it did lol. I cried like I had never seen this damn movie before. So I want to know, what movie makes you cry no matter how many times you see it? Particularly what scene makes you lose it? Go ahead, cry me a river.


What’s On Your Mind?


If you’re on Facebook, you’ll have seen this question asked in your status update box. I thought it would make a cool blog post, so here I am.

What’s On Your Mind?

Today I’m thinking about how I binged the entire new series Fuller House on Netflix. I started out mildly curious about what the reboot of the original, Full House, would be like. I started with the intention of watching the first episode. By the time I knew it, I blew through the entire series. It took me back to my younger days of being a couch potato (Nothing has changed in that regard lol) I enjoyed the trip down memory lane. It was entertaining.

When will all the plans I put into motion last year come together? It feels like no  matter what I do, I’m taking one step forward and two steps back. The important thing, though, is that I’m not giving up.

I can’t wait until I treat myself to bread at the end of this month. (Read this blog post to better understand)

Trying to figure out why I can’t get along with certain people. It bothers me. Not in a way where I just want to like them and vice versa. It bothers me because I’m letting them get to me and alter my mood. I’m mad at myself, really.

I enjoy sitting with my dogs and letting them climb all over me and try to lick my face off. I’m left wondering If I’ll ever be a people person instead of an introverted hermit.

My future is weighing heavily on my mind today. Will I be friends with the same people a few years from now? Will I still be living in the same area for much longer? Will I accomplish my goal of wading into the dating pool this year? Will I be financially rewarded for working my ass off?

The night is still young. There’s bound to be 100 more things on my mind until I close my eyes. But now I want to know what’s on your mind?

 

 

 

 


I Want You To Know Vol. 3


Here’s another installment of things I’d like you to know about me. It started out when I began getting more traffic to my blog. I had been writing about my thoughts or ranting about something or the other. I decided that I should let people know things about me. That was the first volume.

After a while  a post about the musician, Alanis Morissette was my most popular. I had to laugh to myself because this blog is supposed to be about me and for readers to get a glimpse of who I am.  Yet people were clicking on the Morissette post. As time went on more things came up that I wanted readers to know so I posted a second volume.

Some time has passed so I figured maybe it’s time to let people know even more about me. For the third time, here’s what I want you to know.

  • I am finally a homeowner
  • Just took my first job in retail (Needed a second job)
  • I love Netflix. I binge often
  • I’m starting to like being alone
  • I’m an animal lover.
  • I hate shopping
  • I’m not a girly girl
  • I love anything to do with horror
  • I don’t think I’ll ever get married
  • I love to cook
  • I hate washing dishes
  • Most of my clothes are black
  • I have a cougar crush on Evan Peters
  • I love the spring and autumn
  • I love having male friends
  • I discovered I love antiques and vintage items
  • Addicted to HGTV
  • My fingers hate texting but I mostly prefer it to phone calls
  • I lose interest in things quickly
  • I require consistency from people. Without it I move on and rarely look back
  • I tend to stay away from groups of people
  • I prefer 1 on 1 or no more than 3 people at an outing
  • I’m often the invisible one. And it’s starting to get on my nerves
  • I hate throwing up and avoid it until the last minute
  • I’m not a fan of people changing the rules on me
  • Seeing people succeed makes me smile
  • I love singing very loud in the car…by myself

 


Carbaholic


 

Carbs. Glorious carbs. They are the bane of my existence. They are my weakness. For health reasons and also being desperate to drop some weight, I decided that this was the year to get a handle on my addiction. I had tried to kick my carb addiction before by eliminating ALL carbs from my diet at once, cold turkey. I did great at first but it all fell apart soon after. This year, I still used the cold turkey method but I’ve decided to tackle one carb at a time. I figured I’d give myself a month to conquer one evil then take on another the next month.

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January 1st I started with my most difficult of carbs to give up. I LOVE bread. All kinds of doughy goodness. I can eat bread as a meal. This New York City girl loves her pizza and bagels! I called on my stubborn Taurus trait to slay this beast. The first few days without bread were no biggie. It was so new and the energy from a new year carried me to victory that first week. By week two it seemed like all I saw around me was bread.

I felt like I was being tortured because my family was buying bagels all of a sudden when they hadn’t for a long time. Then…pizza. It seemed like they were ordering pizza every day. They weren’t but it seemed that way:) It became hell the second week. I just wanted to stuff an entire pizza pie in my mouth. I felt like rolling around in a bed of pizza pies. But I held on. I made it to January 31st without eating any type of bread! (That includes pancakes, waffles, soft tacos/tortillas, wraps, English muffins etc) I rewarded myself with these mini pizzas. They’re like the size of silver dollar pancakes.

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That was it. I moved onto February. I have been bread-free for 41 days. In addition to cutting bread, I’ve said goodbye to pasta in February. It’s only been 10 days. But I’m still going strong. I also LOVE pasta! I used to enjoy  bread with my pasta. Double trouble! Trying to keep my blood sugars in check wasn’t happening with that winning combination. I’m finding that cutting pasta has been a bit easier than it was with bread. Next month I will tackle white potatoes.

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I’m hoping that I can get to a point where I can control myself and be able to enjoy these carbilicious foods responsibly. Until then I have to be hard on myself. I can admit that at this point I would totally fall of the wagon if I allow myself to indulge here and there. I’ll reward myself at the end of the month and be happy with that. My name is May, and I’m a Carbaholic.


Back In The Saddle Again


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Hello! I’m finally back after a very long break. Was off taking care of life business. I normally try to keep this blog for personal stuff but in this case, business and personal are hand in hand. Here’s what I blogged about over on my business blog:

After my second release, Kindred Spirits, I set out to become a homeowner. That was a little over 2 years ago. I took a break from writing to concentrate on my new goal. By January 2015 I had accomplished my goal. I’m proud to say that I am a first-time homeowner.  That should have been cause for great celebration. My life went downhill from there.Long story short, it took a year to move  my daycare business from my old residence to the new one.

Running a daycare is what I do for my “day job.” Getting registered in my new home took so much longer than I thought it would.  I basically suffered financially the entire year of 2015. I had to take on an extra job so there was absolutely no writing getting done.  In the middle of December 2015 I finally became  registered to run a daycare again. Now to build up my clientele in my new home. Another challenge but I know it will work itself out in no time.

All this to say that things are starting to calm down in my life. I started the new year dusting off my blogs and breathing life back into my Facebook page. I want to get back to social networking again. I miss tweeting, pinning and Instagraming I’ve been jotting down story ideas and trying my hand at poetry. I figured that would be a good outlet for the many emotions I’ve experienced the past few years. I hope you’ll rejoin the journey with me.  I’m slowly getting back in the saddle again :)


Lesson Learned


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I’m finally able to come here and express myself without tears blurring my vision.  Right before Christmas I lost my big sister. It was sudden. It was quick. We didn’t know she was so ill until she went into the hospital and passed away three days later. When she first went into the hospital, I had hope. I told myself that everything would be fine.  The day after she was admitted, it was critical but in my head this was a speed bump that she would recover from. On the third day, I received a call from my mother urging me to get down to the hospital because my sister didn’t have much time. She wasn’t expected to make it through the night.

I don’t like seeing people on the brink of death. I rather remember them in happier times and full of life. But sometimes we have to put our own shit aside. I’m so glad I did. I think, no, I’m certain I would have regretted not going to see my sister. I arrived at the hospital to see my zany and vibrant sister hooked up to machines that kept her alive–if you can call it that. My heart broke. I wept at her bedside for so many reasons.

I wept because she had such a rough life and was finally finding peace and happiness. I wept because we had lost contact for a period of time and I had just gotten her back. I wept because she was such a lively person with a zest for life even when it had been cruel to her, and now she was slipping away. Machines were keeping her alive and I thought, “this is so cruel.” I took her hand. I know she felt us all surrounding her. I wanted her to know that it was okay to let go.

She didn’t deserve to remain in the state she was in. Her heart was weakening. She was removed from the machines the next day. I opted not to be present for that moment. I had already said my goodbyes and would not have been okay with witnessing her last breath.

It’s only been a few weeks. My heart aches everyday. I go through moments of normalcy with her passing always looming in the background. I go on with everyday chores with that black cloud in the distance. My sister lived about two hours away from me so we didn’t get together very often. But I took comfort in just knowing that she was there. Even when we lost contact, just knowing that she was out there made me feel less lonely. Now I feel so alone. It’s weird because our papa is a rolling stone.  I have at least 8 more siblings out there. (A post for another day)

I don’t know my other siblings, I only know of them. I was raised with my sister for the first few years of my life. We share the same father but have different mothers. My mother cared for her since she was very young. My mother was the only mother my sister ever knew. Our parents divorced and my father split us up. I stayed with my mother and was raised as an only child. But I always knew that wasn’t the case. I had a painfully lonely childhood but the fact that my sister existed always made me feel better. And now she’s gone.

I’ve gone through periods of time when I lost my sister, but we always found our way back to each other. The fact that I’ve lost her for good has left such a void in my life. I’m back to that painfully lonely place. I know there are pieces of me, in the form of other siblings, floating around out there, but none of them share the bond I had with my sister.

These past few weeks have been eye-opening and chock-full of life lessons that I’m not sure I was ready to learn. (Again, a post for another day) I grieve for all the future moments that were taken away from us. I regret letting petty things get in the way of spending what time I had left with my sister. Because of my deep dislike for another family member I was cheated out of the last moments of quality time with my sister. I can never get those moments back because I chose to distance myself from the group the last few times she visited. All because I was avoiding that one other person. Lesson learned.

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Front cover of the card my sister gave me on my last birthday.

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Interior of birthday card. This says it all.


Inquiring Minds Want to Know


Kindred Spirits--release date 10/31/13

Kindred Spirits–release date 10/31/13

So I’ve published my second book and of course I’m little nervous about how it will be received.  I joke about how people will think I’m utterly mad after having read the book. I’m not too concerned with that because I think we’re all a little crazy :)! I do, however, worry about people being cross with me for what I’ve done to a sacred topic.  I believe people refer to this as, blasphemy.  *Dun dun dunnn… Thunder clap*

I’m not heavily into religion but I do respect everyone’s beliefs and have always had the opinion that no one is right and no one is wrong. Is blasphemy still a big deal? I’m not being sarcastic or careless when I ask. I’m genuinely curious. As I’ve stated, I’m not a very religious person so I don’t know.  So, tell me, does it turn you off from an author’s future work if they’ve blasphemed? Inquiring minds want to know.


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